Toby fires another self-assured smirk around the stale meeting room, his weasel eyes darting between the bewildered faces of unwitting prey as he smugly delivers the crescendo of his presentation:
A volcano of molten fury and disbelief erupts silently inside me. How are people supposed to understand this indecipherable bilge? But my restrained anger was doused in a sea of vacant nodding heads, each person fearful to admit that no one really knew what the hell Toby was talking about.
Hot air is the wind that fills my freelance sails
You’ll often find me screaming plain English at poorly-worded signs. Or launching into corrective tirades at empty corporate promises like the ones above. I’ve a fiery obsession just short of pedantry that’s equalled only by humanity’s poisonous addiction to obscuring things with needless complexity.
Luckily for us, what almost suffocated me propelled an escape from corporate mediocrity and set a course for self-employment to put things right again.
Let’s rid the world of meaningless drivel
If you need something to be understood then say it simply and clearly. That’s how I help you. With carefully considered copywriting and photography I seek new creative challenges that build on what I believe in.
Untangling what you want to say is fulfilment for me. I shuffle and scrutinise words and pictures with scientific diligence until I craft exactly the right copy and photographs you need to express your message.
If I earn some pocket-money doing what I love then that’s a bonus. I hope to develop a sustainable business that’s just the right size so I can spend more time tending to my veggie patch or hanging out with John Steinbeck and PG Wodehouse.
Solid experience before I turned freelance
Early Adopter and National Strategic Resource Lead, NHS Gateway programme
Helping people work together on a whizz-bang national website with all sorts of crazy new technology to help make their lives easier.
Content Manager, NHS HealthSpace
Where I cut my teeth as a copywriter, learning how to write clear and simple copy for web sites. I was given the keys to their content management system as copywriter, image-creator and news-writer.
Writing Plain English, Plain English Campaign
Recognised training from an independent group fighting for crystal-clear communication.
Qualified PRINCE2 Practitioner
Industry standard qualification for running complicated projects.
Functional Analyst, NHS HealthSpace
Exciting times designing user interfaces and mastering how best to present information on web pages using the art of information architecture.
Technical Project Analyst, Bloom Media
In at the deep end at a communications agency, juggling three or four big projects at once from proposal right through to delivery with a team over a thousand miles away who spoke another language. Tricky.
Information Systems Manager, Universatile Net Centres Limited
I spotted a room full of shiny technology that was gathering dust. “Let me make that work harder for you” I said. The rest is history, building productive websites for customers.
Information Systems BSc (Hons), University of Leeds, School of Computing
Three academic years studying how to get the right information to humans. I specialised in usability and people in cooperative systems, which as it turns out was a pretty wise choice.