Here’s a guide for newcomers to coaching with me. Let’s assume you’ve attempted these provocations, and that led to us scheduling a proper coaching session together.
What happens?
Coaching is a particular kind of conversation or interaction between two people. The main difference is there’s more context or intention to it – we’ll get clearer about the what, how and why of it all. It’s more focused, deliberate and often more powerful for effecting change because of it.
If you’re open to it, we can go deeper than usual – with curiosity, compassion, and challenge – whatever works for you.
You’ll notice I mainly ask questions, ones that follow on from whatever you present. I reflect back a lot too. Everything is underpinned by proven models and techniques I’ve learned as a qualified coach.
Basically, you’re in safe hands, in a safe place.
With this being your first session, we might ask: What do you need? And how might coaching work for you and your situation?
No one’s getting assessed or marked. And there’s no such thing as a right or wrong answer. Everything’s upfront and transparent – I want you to fully experience what coaching is like with me, and how that lands with you.
For now, we’re exploring whether there’s chemistry, and a ‘good fit’ for both of us. How might we create something together?
Who decides what we talk about?
The content is all about what’s alive for you. You’re the hero. I facilitate or guide the session, in service of what you bring.
With your permission, I’ll gently lead you towards what you say is important, or what seems to be emerging as important. To that end, I’ll occasionally use my coaching radar to sense what’s going unsaid or unquestioned.
Topic-wise, we might explore a particular problem, your thoughts and feelings, consider different options, or build new systems or behaviours through experiments. You might decide what action you want to take, what’s in the way, and what support you need through that.
Coaching often means committing to do meaningful stuff outside of sessions, then reflecting on and learning from how it went (or didn’t).
If this initial coaching session works for us both, we can talk about what extra support you’d like, when and how – that could be a coaching programme, something one-off, or entirely new all together; designed by us.
What does coaching feel like?
Clients come away from sessions feeling inspired, moved, playful, gentle, reflective and curious.
Coaching makes what’s difficult more do-able. And leads to breakthroughs on fronts you’ve battled with, perhaps alone, for years. Some you might not even be aware of yet.
Coaching turns ideas into real-life, grubby-fingered projects, decisions and change. Always on your terms.
It’s not about mind-tricks or quick-fixes. I think you’ve already got what it takes to get where you want to be. And it’s my job to help you recapture that, by surprising yourself and tapping into your natural brilliance.
What else might happen?
If appropriate, we’ll get out of our heads. That means movement or physical interaction (with your consent). I’m a certified embodiment and physical intelligence coach, with a few of tricks to help you feel freer, more creative, more vital, stronger and less affected by stress.
We can work with your inner state and ‘how’ you are in the world – revealing patterns of behaviour, and how your body is influenced by (and can influence) the world around you.
Coaching isn’t all talking. Emotion, intuition, our bodies and sensory experience all have their place. I might offer a curious activity or experiment in the heat of the moment, to shift perspectives or loosen things up.
I’ll always seek your permission, and frequently check-in with how a session is going for you. We can always adjust in-flight.
How does this compare to counselling or therapy?
There are similarities. Coaching is rooted in the same time-tested psychotherapeutic and philosophical traditions, so a counsellor or therapist might recognise the techniques I use.
That said, coaching focuses more on your future, rather than your past. We’re less fixated on re-telling old stories, more your relationship with them. As well as your capacity for agency, awareness and choice.
For your peace of mind: I’m trained to respect ethical boundaries, like whether coaching is or isn’t an appropriate, safe intervention.
I’m accredited and insured too, so again – you’re in safe hands.
What advice will you get?
I believe you have a natural capacity for learning, growth and creativity to overcome challenges. So as a coach, I’ll always encourage you to trust yourself as an advisor first.
That said, I will occasionally offer my experience and opinions if you’re open to them.
If it’s lasting results you want, all decisions and actions must be yours (rather than mine). I don’t have any ‘right’ answers, but I can coach you into discovering your own.
How can you prepare?
Deciding to go ahead, and dedicate yourself to coaching is enough. That’s an enormous act of bravery and self-respect – so well done already!
To get even more out of your coaching session there are a few practical steps you might like to take:
- Find somewhere quiet where you won’t be disturbed or interrupted (sessions usually last two hours).
- Connect to a reliable internet connection; a decent mic and headphones will help.
- Afterwards, solitude might help – like a quiet walk or a mindless task while things percolate mentally.
If you really want to prepare, consider what’s alive for you – what’s going on, any recent challenges or experiences that impacted you (though I will often begin with a question like this anyway). Your notes or other prompts for discussion are welcome.
If you only remember one thing: I invite you to stay open and playful, ready to surprise yourself. This simple outlook helps my kind of people get the most out of a coaching session.
Now, on to the fun bit…
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